Hangin’ With Manute Bol

I finally got to meet one of my favorite basketball players ever, one of the the best shot blockers in NBA history, Manute Bol. Now 46 years old but still towering over us at 7’7″, Bol has spent the years since his retirement from the league doing Bono-like deeds without the Bono-like headlines.

A Sudan native, Bol has given his fortune to help the people of his war-torn country, founded the Ring True Foundation and helps to raise money to build schools through Sudan Sunrise. He had a stint as a horse jockey, suited up for an ice hockey team, and even boxed William “The Refrigerator” Perry, all in the name of earning money for noble causes. I’d like to see Bono do that.

In October he stepped into the role as a spokesman for Ethiopian Airlines Journeys, where he promotes tourism to Ethiopia and East Africa, and is planning on hosting an NBA Legends trip there in the fall. “When you go there, you will want to go back again and again,” Bol said. And I’ll vouch for him, because I have been to Ethiopia and it was easily the most exciting trip I’ve ever been on in my life.

Bol played for the Washington Bullets, Philadelphia 76ers, Golden State Warriors and Miami Heat during a ten year career. He told me that one of his best memories was when he was playing for the Bullets and had a triple-double. He now lives in Kansas City.

As with Gheorghe Muresan, my interview with Bol ended on a high note when I asked him Gunaxin’s Six Questions.

Six Questions with: Manute Bol

Who is your favorite Athlete?
Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Kevin Garnett, and countryman Luol Deng
Who is your favorite Hottie?
Ajok Kuag (his wife who cost him a whopping 150 cows)
Who is your favorite Comedian?
Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle
What is your favorite Movie?
Rambo
What is your favorite Gadget?
Phone
What is your favorite Beer?
Heineken

I Bought the Muppets

The economy is horrible. People are losing their jobs. I just lost my rent-paying roommates. The company I work for is making cutbacks. So what did I do? I bought the Muppets.

What better way to cheer yourself up then to own Kermit, Animal and Gonzo? These are high quality, to scale replicas. They’re not puppets, but ‘photo puppets,’ the kind they use when photographing them for calendars and posters.

These are the greatest things I’ve ever bought in my life, and I urge any fan of the Muppets to go out and buy these while they’re still available. Keep in mind, they’re limited edition, and I was lucky to get my hands on Kermit, who originally came out in 2006. Up next, Fozzie Bear, but as of this writing, the company who makes them, Master Replicas, put it on hold.

Kermit the Frog Photo Puppet Replica. Kermit is really the only must-have of the three, and for that reason, the most expensive. They made 2,500 of him, and I’d say this one is good for kids because there aren’t too many breakable parts. Kermit, along with the others, comes with a display stand and also a very nice box.

Gonzo Photo Puppet Replica. Gonzo the Great comes complete with a tuxedo and shoes, all very high quality. You could probably even remove the clothing and put it on your kid. Unfortunately his nose won’t stay in place like the rest of him when you bend it around, but that’s okay, he’s still worth every penny.

Animal Photo Puppet Replica. Because of his crazy red hair, Animal is the only one not good for kids because the hair could easily get pulled out, and you don’t want that to happen with this guy. He’s also much bigger than Kermit and Gonzo. You’ll be tempted to yell ‘Woman! Woman!’ when he comes out of the box. There were only 1,500 made of him, unlike Kermit and Gonzo.

Fozzie Bear Photo Puppet Replica. Not yet available. According to Muppet Wiki: Due to low retail support for such a high-priced item, production of the product was put on hold in the fall of 2008. The company is currently searching for a smaller a factory or workshop to produce the product in a more limited production run. As of January 2009, no developments have been reported.

Rumors of others: Miss Piggy and Rizzo the Rat.

How I Used to Imagine What God Looked Like

We all know that children have wild imaginations. Before we knew where babies came from, we had to think creatively for ourselves, and I’m sure each of us drew our own conclusion that most of us no longer remember, or choose to forget. I would like to share with you a thought I had when I was very young.

When I was a kid, I always heard about God. But no one had a photo of God, and He certainly didn’t have a voice (except in The Ten Commandments). I’m sure all kids at some point wonder what God looks like, and most of them eventually settle on believing Him to look like a very old man with a long, white beard and a deep voice.

But not me. Once, I went to the movies, and I came out being convinced that God Almighty looks like this.

This is Maleficent, from Walt Disney’s 1959 hit Sleeping Beauty.

Okay, before you call me an idiot, hear me out. Yes, Maleficent is a woman, but  I subscribe to the point that women give birth so God must have given birth to humanity.

From Wikipedia:

Maleficent appears in the form of a tall, pale green skinned woman with yellow eyes and a horned headdress, symbolic of her dark magic. She is clad in a black and purple robe with bat wing-like edges, and wears a gold ring with a large circular black stone in it. She has a pet raven called Diablo, and a legion of goblins and troll-like entities at her command. In addition to this she carries a staff with a glowing green orb at the tip, through which she casts her spells, which include an ability to teleport herself from place to place or send bolts of lightning at enemies. She is also capable of shape shifting at will into numerous forms, including a floating light resembling a will-o’-the-wisp and a massive black and purple dragon. Despite this, she is in fact a fairy, like the other three fairy godmothers in the movie, rather than a sorceress. She is also renowned for her macabre beauty, possessing sharp, angled and striking features, and her attractive and seductive speaking voice.

So am I saying that God is evil? No. Again, this is just what I imagined God to look like. And the shape shifting is something God is known for, anyway.

Now everyone is going to call me an idiot, but that’s okay, because if I’m an idiot than all children are idiots. And what child hasn’t thought or imagined something off-the-wall? Now, things change over the years, and their one-time viewpoint shifts to something more logical. However, when it comes to imagining what God looks like, what exactly is logical? Seriously, an old man with a white beard just isn’t it, people. So this guess is as good as any other.

And the next time you watch Sleeping Beauty, you’ll be thinking the same thing.

Hangin’ With Gheorghe Muresan

I was all pumped up because I was supposed to meet my childhood hero, Manute Bol, at Zed’s Ethiopian Cuisine in Georgetown, Washington D.C. Unfortunately, Manute couldn’t make it, but I was equally thrilled to meet someone just as tall who I liked just as much, 7’7″ former Bullet/Wizard/Net, Gheorghe Muresan.

I’m always interested in what athletes do when they retire. While some, like Charles Barkley, get DUIs, I’m happy to report that Gheorghe, who is from Romania, is living in Maryland, enjoying fatherhood, works with the Wizards, and runs a basketball program for kids called the Giant Basketball Academy.

I palled around with Gheorghe for several minutes, asked him Gunaxin’s six questions, and impressed him when I mentioned that I knew that he had led the NBA in field goal percentage in 1996-97. I was such a fan of his, I remember anxiously watching My Giant, with Billy Crystal, when it came out in 1998.

Other nuggets of info about Gheorghe: He won the NBA’s Most Improved Player award in 1995-96, won the French championship with Pau Ortez in 2001, and won the French Cup with Pau Ortez in 2003. He is also active in charities that work with underprivileged children.

As for Manute, I’ll meet him another time. I know for certain that he’s up to some cool stuff that I’m looking forward to reporting.


 

Today we interview Gheorghe Muresan, a retired Romanian professional basketball player. At 7 ft 7 in, he is tied with Sudanese player Manute Bol as the tallest man to ever play in the NBA. Yep, taller than Yao Ming. Like Bol, both his parents are of average size, but unlike Bol his great height is the result of a pituitary disorder. Gheorghe’s short NBA career lasted parts of six seasons, and he saw action with the Washington Bullets and the New Jersey Nets.

Six Questions:

Who is your favorite Athlete?
Utah Jazz (Gheorghe, who was wearing a Wizards jacket, says he doesn’t follow individual athletes, but teams)
Who is your favorite Hottie?
His Wife, Lillianna
Who is your favorite Comedian?
My Giant co-star Billy Crystal, and I think he also said Robbie Williams
What is your favorite Movie?
Gheorghe said he doesn’t have one, but what’s interesting is that he said he didn’t see My Giant
What is your favorite Gadget?
The iPhone, but he had the Google phone.
What is your favorite Beer?
“All beer tastes the same”

Top Ten Movie Serial Killers

After years of slasher/horror flicks gracing the big screen (most of which were sequels), these 10 serial killers stand out above the rest.

10. Chucky. Okay, the Child’s Play franchise has gone from all-out horror to comedy-horror over the course of five films, but any way you look at it, the Lakeshore Strangler is one mean SOB. Let’s also not forget Tiffany, Chucky’s wife, in Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky. Be prepared for Charles Lee Ray to return in a remake of the 1988 original.

9. Ghostface. With a mask inspired by Edvard Munch’s painting The Scream, Ghostface is actually five people over the course of three films. Scream, brought to us by Wes Craven, revitalized slasher flicks in the mid-90s. After two successful sequels, and the Scary Movie spoofs, Ghostface deserves to be on this list.

8. Michael Myers. John Carpenter brings us Mr. Myers, who killed his sister when he was a kid, went to a mental institution, escaped 15 years later and now kills people on Halloween. Originally in theaters in 1978, Halloween spawned seven sequels, not including a remake of the original by Rob Zombie. Another one is slated to be released by Zombie.

7. Jigsaw Killer. Unlike others, Jigsaw does not intend to murder. He wants to see if the victim has the will to survive, thus inflicting enough psychological trauma for them to appreciate their life and save themselves from their own demons. If anything, he’s doing them a favor. Saw VI will be out on the fall, but only the first one is must-see.

6. Freddy Kruger. Robert Englund plays the dream killer in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, also brought to us by Wes Craven. Kruger’s motives are to kill teenagers as revenge on their parents, who had burned him alive years before. Expect more Nightmares to come, but this time reportedly without Englund.

5. Jason Voorhees. Slashing up teens at Camp Crystal Lake through 12 Friday the 13th flicks (most recently a remake of the original), Jason did wonders for the old school hockey goalie mask. Met another legend, Freddy Kruger, in 2003’s Freddy vs. Jason (That was the most fun I ever had at the movies, as audience members were loudly cheering for their favorite of the two.) Unlike Kruger, Jason has a sad backstory, having been deformed and humiliated as a child. Eight of the Friday films came out in the 80s, 1 in the 90s, and 3 in the 00s.

4. Leatherface. Loosely based on real life killer Ed Gein, Leatherface is severely mentally retarded and disturbed, often using a chainsaw and sledgehammer to slaughter his victims. His family of fellow cannibals abuse him and tell him what to do. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre came out in 1974, the first in line of more slasher flicks to come. Six films have been made over the years, including a remake of the original in 2003.

3. John Doe. After killing five people who are, in fact, sinners, John Doe, played by Kevin Spacey, delivers a this-all-makes-sense monologue to Brad Pitt, justifying the murders and making the Seven audience nod along in agreement. But then he turns out to be a sinner himself, “envy,” to be exact, and completes his masterpiece with his own death by the hand of “wrath.” This is the only killer on this list in a stand-alone film.

2. Norman Bates. Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 film Psycho, most notably the shower scene, set the tone for just about every serial killer made after that. The cross-dressing, momma-loving motel peeper was based on real life killer Ed Gein (Gein was only convicted of killing two, but his grave robbery and hobby of making trophies out of bones and skin made him arguably the top killer that influenced other very famous fictional serial killers.) Five movies have been released in this series, including an unnecessary remake of the original in 1998.

1. Hannibal Lecter. Lecter, played by Anthony Hopkins in three films (Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal and Red Dragon), was voted by The American Film Institute as the most memorable villain in film history. Why? Because the audience rooted for him, unlike his former patient, transvestite wanna-be woman killer Jame Gumb (also inspired by Gein). Lecter was popular even before his tragic backstory was told in 2007’s Hannibal Rising.

Yes, there are some I purposely left off, such as the guy in American Psycho, the Driftwoods in House of 1,000 Corpses, the Leprechaun, and many, many others. Argue amongst yourselves.