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Ten Teams We Would’ve Like to Have Seen on ‘Hard Knocks’

HBO’s Hard Knocks, a reality show for preseason pro football teams, hasn’t reached its full potential. Why? Because they need cameras in every locker room of every team, every season, all season, edited and packaged for our viewing pleasure.

Rex Ryan cursing his way through the New York Jets’ camp this season is entertaining, and Chad Ochocinco raving about McDonald’s in Cincinnati last year was hilarious (and how funny would it have been to watch Terrell Owens jaw with Pacman Jones this season?). But think about every team that we haven’t seen that would’ve been worth it. That list would be huge, so here are ten memorable teams that likely would’ve made Hard Knocks even more popular than the games themselves.

1 2010 Washington Redskins

Every year at Redskins training camp is worthy of a reality show, but the filming of Albert Haynesworth’s multiple conditioning test failures would have sent ratings through the roof. Under no circumstance would the team allow something like that to be shot, but THAT is what reality television was made for.

2 2005 New Orleans Saints

After two preseason games, Hurricane Katrina forced the Saints out of the city. The whole season would’ve been worth chronicling.

3 2005 Minnesota Vikings

An alleged sex party occurred in Oct., 2005 on Lake Minnetonka with 17 members of the Vikings. Prostitutes were flown in for the party, and some of the players performed sexual acts in front of crew members. Forget HBO, this could have aired on the Playboy Channel.

4 1995 Cowboys

Just imagine, Jerry Jones wandering around and Jimmy Johnson Barry Switzer barking instructions at Deon Sanders, Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, Nate Newton and Michael Irvin in the preseason before winning their third Super Bowl in four years.

5 1986 New York Giants

This list wouldn’t be complete without at least one year of Bill Parcells, and with Lawrence Taylor running wild and the Giants winning the Super Bowl, this would be a memorable Hard Knocks for sure.

6 1985 Chicago Bears

Mike Ditka. Mike Singletary. Walter Payton. William Perry. This team is often said to be the best ever. Not because of those guys, but because of the dude in the sunglasses, quarterback Jim McMahon.

7 1982 Washington Redskins

The only thing that would make this boring is head coach Joe Gibbs, who wasn’t known for cursing or throwing temper tantrums. Watching a football team pray together isn’t must-see television. The Hogs, perhaps the best offensive line in history, could have had their own reality TV show, but this team also had John Riggins, Dexter Manley, and others who would’ve been a blast to watch (Art Monk not so much).

8 1976 Oakland Raiders

Any year the Raiders would be worthy of Hard Knocks. But there was something special about them in the 1970s, special enough for HBO to make a documentary in 2003 called Rebels of Oakland: The A’s, the Raiders, the ’70s. We’ll pick 1976 for Hard Knocks because John Madden and company won the Super Bowl.

9 1974 Pittsburgh Steelers

Already stacked with “Mean” Joe Greene, Terry Bradshaw, Mel Blount, Jack Ham, Franco Harris, Coach Chuck Noll selected four Hall of Famers in 1974: Lynn Swann, Jack Lambert, John Stallworth, and Mike Webster. Needless to say, this team won the Super Bowl, then three more.

10 1968 New York Jets

Joe Namath and company embark on a journey that leads them past Johnny Unitas in the Super Bowl.

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Nothing Disturbing About Disturbed

Disturbed has been punching the mainstream in the face for a decade now, with kick-you-in-the-nuts albums like The Sickness, Believe, Ten Thousand Fists and Indestructible. And now they’ve got a fist-full with their latest, Asylum. We’ve already been treated to free downloads of the songs “Never Again” and “Asylum” from the new album, but there are ten more tracks on Asylum that are likely to rock just as hard. Considering each new album has outdone the previous, Asylum is a sure bet to help Disturbed keep the crown of being the most kick-ass band of the new century.

But before we digest Asylum, let’s select the Top Ten Disturbed Songs of the past decade. Considering how much I and others love this band, I’ll admit that the order of this list can be swapped around without much argument. So how am I ordering these? By the number of times I’ve listened, of course!

Top Ten Disturbed Songs (of the 00s)

10 Overburdened – Ten Thousand Fists

9 Ten Thousand Fists- Ten Thousand Fists

8 Pain Redefined – Ten Thousand Fists

7 Stupify – The Sickness

6 Down With the Sickness – The Sickness

5 Believe – Believe

4 Indestructible – Indestructible

3 Prayer – Believe

2 Stricken – Ten Thousand Fists

1 The Game – The Sickness

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Volunteering Again

After years of taking a break, I’m doing volunteer work again. This time it’s with my neighbor, Norma Nashed, who is the president of Reaching Hearts for Kids. She runs a charity which provides children in desperate need with the basic essentials necessary for them to live healthy lives. I’m currently helping her with her website, but hope to soon get involved with other things as well.

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Album Review: Iron Maiden’s The Final Frontier

Iron Maiden has been on a role since Bruce Dickenson’s return more than a decade ago, releasing a trio of excellent albums that have lured a new generation of fans. The Final Frontier, their latest – and hopefully not last – album since Maiden 2.0 launched certainly adds to their legacy of being arguably the greatest metal band ever, despite treading the same ground they’ve been before.

The album opens with “Satellite 15,” one of the most intense, momentum-building intros Iron Maiden has conducted in years, before changing up midway through to the album’s signature song and space anthem, “The Final Frontier.” Next up is “El Dorado,” a song released months ago and played on Maiden’s 2010 world tour, which is another to add to the Iron Maiden favorites playlist. While these are the better songs on the album, and obviously released early to build more buzz, the rest of the album has gems as well. And within many of those songs are even better guitar hooks that sweeten things up like an instrumental chorus.

If there’s anything to criticize, it’s Maiden can be a bit predictable when it comes to music that sounds too much like their other music, particularly “When the Wild Wind Blows” – a great song for sure – but didn’t we hear it on their album from four years ago? And like their last album, A Matter of Life and Death, Maiden focuses on writing long, epic songs with Maiden-esque titles such as “The Alchemist,” “Isle of Avalon,” and “The Talisman” that tend to bleed together when listening to the whole album from start to finish. But should we be critical of that? No. Just enjoy it.

Maiden as of late also tends to write music that listeners might not fully ingest upon their first listen. While this can go for just about anyone, it’s easy to go from “Huh?” to “Awesome!” once these songs start sticking out on their own and the listener separates the more creative aspects of the music from the routine.

Iron Maiden didn’t necessarily break new ground with their 15th studio album, but The Final Frontier is relevant and well worth the wait.

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I'm Failing Math Class

Seriously. I am failing math class. The only thing is, I haven’t been in a math class since 1995.

Okay, to be more clear, I have a recurring dream that I am failing math class. It happens, I don’t know, a few times a year, but often enough to make me wonder: Why, of all things, do I keep dreaming about this?

The dream is of me almost always in high school or college (but everything is ‘different’ – you know how dreams are). And at some point in the dream I realize that I haven’t been to math class recently and I’m falling behind, and may not even remember where the classroom is and might get lost trying to find it (sometimes I make it only to realize I have no idea what’s going on). Other silly things happen in the dream, usually different and weird things, but that’s not unusual.

I have no bad memories of math class and I can’t for the life of me understand why I dream of this, but it happens. I suppose there are worse things. You know, like failing psychology.