I just got the Mumak of Harad polystone statue from Sideshow Collectibles. For what it is, this is a fabulous statue, a dying Mumak, storming Minas Tirith on the Pelennor Fields. It’s the AT-AT of Lord of the Rings. Looks great alongside other statues, though its scale is way smaller than most everything Sideshow has made, with the exception of the environments and the fell beast.
I wrote a silly article about this guy for Gunaxin, titled “Mumakil vs. Imperial Walker. Who Would Win?” The Star Wars geeks blasted me for even suggesting this, but they missed the point: They clicked on the article, and I got paid.
Cool details about this sold out, limited to 3000 statue:
The heel gashes
The tattoos
The flags (though beware – they’re flimsy)
The war harness on its back
The detail on the base, including helmets and a spear on the ground
A few things that could’ve made it cooler:
Something obvious that injured him enough to make him fall, like a spear in the gut. He’s clearly in pain, but from what?
Razor wire and spikes on the tusks
A little figure of a driver holding on for dear life
Arrows sticking out of it (which would no doubt be flimsy and break off)
Also, this is extremely fragile. One wrong flick of the wrist and a piece might break off, such as the tail, the tusks, or part of the flimsy treehouse he has on his back.
Regardless, another cool piece from Sideshow, but likely the only Mumak statue we’ll see from them. Considering that the Mumak driver is also a cool-looking dude, it would’ve been great to have him on there, just like the Morgul Lord was on the Fell Beast.
Anyone who grew up in the 1980s remembers watching WWF on Saturday mornings, and begging their parents to buy the occasional pay-per-view event. Though Ted Turner’s World Championship Wrestling was around, it was a mere pretender to Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Federation (later renamed World Wrestling Entertainment). Here are the most popular wrestlers in the 80s:
Hulk Hogan. His name is synonymous with wrestling, and there’s a possibility WWF wouldn’t have been as popular if it weren’t for his high-energy theatrics. Hogan is Heavyweight Champion for life. By escaping the Iron Sheik’s camel clutch and pinning him to win the title in 1984, Hogan kick-started the Golden Age of wrestling. Anyone remember the words to the Hulk Hogan theme song? Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2005.
Real name: Terry Bollea
Signature move: Atomic leg drop
From: Tampa, Florida
Memorable moment in WWF history: Hogan pins Sheik
Andre the Giant. Weighing between 460 and 540 pounds throughout his career, and standing 7’4 tall, Andre was known as the “Eighth Wonder of the World.” More than any other character, he was the main attraction in this theater of freakishly big, strong and athletic people. First wrestler in the Hall of Fame.
Real name: André René Roussimoff
Signature move: Piledriver
From: Grenoble, France
Died: 1993
Memorable moment in WWF history: Hogan slams Andre
“Macho Man” Randy Savage. His distinctive husky voice was even more fun to mock than Hogan’s, and he always wore a bandanna and sunglasses. He was managed by his real life wife, Miss Elizabeth (who, after the marriage ended, was found dead of a drug overdose in the home of pro wrestler Lex Luger). Savage is the Mario Lemieux to Hogan’s Wayne Gretzky.
Real name: Randall Poffo
Signature move: Diving elbow drop
From: Columbus, Ohio
Memorable moment in WWF history: Savage marries Elizabeth
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Note: Roddy Piper was a Canadian, not a Scot! Known for his signature kilt and bagpipe entrance, Piper was one of the most hated wrestlers, but also BY FAR the funniest. His quick wit and unpredictability made him my favorite. Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2005.
Real name: Roderick George Toombs
Signature move: Sleeper hold
From: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Memorable moment in WWF history: Snuka on Piper’s Pit
George “The Animal” Steele. This guy used to eat the turnbuckle during his match. Do you believe he was once a teacher? Also acted alongside Johnny Depp in Tim Burton’s Ed Wood. Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1995.
Real name: William James Myers
Signature move: Full nelson
From: Detroit, Michigan
Memorable moment in WWF history: Steele vs. Savage
The Ultimate Warrior. The complete package for a wrestler. He pinned Hulk Hogan in WrestleMania VI.
Real name: James Brian Hellwig
Signature move: Gorilla press drop
From: Indiana
Memorable moment in WWF history: Warrior vs. Honkey Tonk Man
The Iron Sheik. With the Iranian hostage crisis still fresh on everyone’s minds in the mid 80s, the Iron Sheik, who was actually from Iran, was perhaps the most hated wrestler ever, alongside tag team partner Nikolai Volkoff. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Khosrow Ali Vaziri
Signature move: Camel clutch
From: Tehran, Iran
Nikolai Volkoff. The big Ruskie used to sing the Soviet national anthem before matches to a chorus of boos. Note: He wasn’t even from the Soviet Union, but still very much hated during Reagan’s Cold War era. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Josip Nikolai Peruzović
Signature move: Bear hug
From: Yugoslavia
Memorable moment in WWF history: Hogan vs. Volkoff
Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Often a bad guy, at least once a good guy, this one-time crack addict was interesting because of the python named Damien that he carried around.
Real name: Aurelian Smith, Jr.
Signature move: DDT
From: Stone Mountain, Georgia
Memorable moment in WWF history: Jake Roberts vs. Andre, John Studd refs
Junkyard Dog. A fan favorite with a chain around his neck who entered the ring to the song “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Sylvester Ritter
Signature move: Powerslam
From: Wadesboro, North Carolina
Died: 1998
Hillbilly Jim. This redneck, complete with a straw hat and overalls, was most fun when he wrestled alongside Uncle Elmer, Cousin Luke, and Cousin Junior.
Real name: Jim Morris
Signature move: Bearhug
From: Mud Lick, Kentucky
King Kong Bundy. A classic bad guy, Bundy was fun to watch when he wrestled the big names, like Hogan and Andre the Giant.
Real name: Christopher Pallies
Signature move: Atlantic City Avalanche
From:Atlantic City, New Jersey
Memorable moment in WWF history: Hogan vs. Bundy in cage
Big John Studd. If you’re from Maryland or Virginia, you’ll remember Big John Stud for his Wild World commercials. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: John William Minton
Signature move: Backbreaker
From: Butler, Pennsylvania
Died: 1995
Memorable moment for Marylanders:
Tito Santana. Another good guy, appeared in the first nine WrestleManias, but only had a 2-7 record. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Merced Solis
Signature move: Flying forearm
From: Tocula, Mexico
Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. Loved jumping off that turnbuckle. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: James Reiher
Signature move: The Superfly Splash
From: Fiji
Memorable moment in WWF history: Muraco vs Snuka, cage match
Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. Beat Macho Man in WrestleMania III in one of the greatest matches ever.
Real name: Richard Henry Blood
Signature move: Diving crossbody
From: West Point, New York
Memorable moment in WWF history: Steamboat vs. Savage
“Ravishing” Rick Rude. His male stripper-like motions were downright disturbing.
Real name: Richard E. Rood
Signature move: Rude Awakening
From: Robbinsdale, Minnesota
Died: 1999
The Hart Foundation Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Part of the huge Hart family, wrestled alongside his brother-in-law, Jim Neidhart. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Bret Sergeant Hart
Signature move: The Sharpshooter
From: Calgary, Alberta Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. The father of current WWE diva Natalya.
Real name: Jim Neidhart
Signature move: Anvil Flattener
From: Tampa, Florida
Memorable moment in WWF history: Hart Foundation and Danny Davis vs. Bulldogs and Tito Santana, WrestleMania III
Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. Sometimes a good guy, sometimes a bad guy, The Hammer often fought in the “Dream Team” alongside Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: John Anthony Wisniski Jr.
Signature move: Figure four leglock
From: Seattle, Washington
Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. A wrestler who used to cut the hair of his opponents as they lay there unconscious. The gag got old, and his interview show, the Barbershop, sucked.
Real name: Edward Harrison “Ed” Leslie
Signature move: Apacalypse
From: Tampa, Florida
Memorable moment in WWF history: Dream Team vs. Bulldogs
“The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart. Best known as the scrawny guy yelling through a megaphone, he managed at times Hulk Hogan, Bret Hart, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Ted DiBiase, and The Honky Tonk Man. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Jimmy Ray Hart
From: Jackson, Mississippi
Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. The bad guy’s manager of managers. Was in charge of such characters as Big John Studd, Ken Patera, “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, King Kong Bundy, Andre the Giant, The Brain Busters (former Horsemen members Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard), “Ravishing” Rick Rude, Harley Race, The Islanders (Haku and Tama), Hercules, The Barbarian, Mr. Perfect, Terry Taylor, and The Brooklyn Brawler. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Raymond Louis Heenan
From: Chicago, Illinois
Memorable moment in WWF history: Royal Rumble, 1988
The Rockers Shawn Michaels. The more well-known half of the tag-team duo The Rockers. Michaels went on to have success as a solo wrestler.
Real name: Michael Shawn Hickenbottom
Signature move: Double flying headbutt (tag-team move)
From: Chandler, Arizona Marty Jannetty. The other guy in the Rockers.
Real name: Frederick Marty Jannetty
Signature move: Double flying headbutt (tag-team move)
From: Columbus, Georgia
“The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Didn’t wrestle in WWF during the 80s but everyone knew he was Turner’s answer to Hulk Hogan. Still a star. Wooo! In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Richard Morgan Fliehr
Signature move: Figure four leglock
From: Memphis, Tennessee
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. “Hoooo!!!” This all-American wrestler made me want to march around the playground with a 2-by-4.
Real name: James Duggan
Signature move: Tackled the guy, football style
From: Glen Falls, New York
“The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase. Bribed his way to victory and always followed by his bodyguard Virgil.
Real name: Theodore Marvin “Ted” DiBiase, Sr.
Signature move: Figure four leglock
From: Omaha, Nebraska
British Bulldogs. Everyone loved their mascot, Matilda. Davey Boy Smith. Later wrestled under the name “The British Bulldog.”
Real name: David Boy Smith
Signature move: The powerslam
From: United Kingdom
Died: 2002 Dynamite Kid. The other half of the British Bulldogs, currently confined to a wheelchair.
Real name: Thomas Billington
Signature move: Swan dive headbutt
From: Golborne, Lancashire
Nasty Boys. Didn’t join WWF until the 90s but these guys kept me watching as the 80s ended. Brian Knobbs. Hilarious on the show Hogan Knows Best.
Real name: Brian Yandrisovitz
Signature move: Running powerslam
From: Tampa, Florida Jerry Sags. The other half of the Nasty Boys.
Real name: Jerome Saganovich
Signature move: Diving elbow drop
From: Allentown, Pennsylvania
Captain Lou Albano. In the 80s, one of the most popular good guy managers. Often seen with singer Cyndi Lauper. Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1996.
Real name: Louis Vincent Albano
From: Mount Vernon, New York
Bam Bam Bigelow. The big guy with the tatooo on his head.
Real name: Scott Charles Bigelow
Signature move: Diving headbutt
From: Ashbury Park, New Jersey
Died: 2007
“The Bird Man” Koko B. Ware. Always flapping his arms as he rode the back of his opponent.
Real name: James Ware
Signature move: Birdbuster
From: Union City, Tennessee
Bushwhackers. Remember these crazy Aussies (ok, New Zealanders), jerking their arms up and down? Great for kids.
Real names: Luke Williams and Butch Miller
Signature move: Battering ram
From: Aukland, New Zealand
“Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff. Bad guy who was often alongside “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Paul Orndorff
Signature move: Spike piledriver
From: Brandon, Florida
Mr. Perfect. Used to show film clips of him bowling a 300 game, running the table in pool, and hitting a shot in basketball. Wow, amazing. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Curt Hennig
Signature move: Perfect-plex
From: Robbinsdale, Minnesota
Died: 2003
Kamala the Ugandan Giant. At the time, taught kids that Uganda is a country.
Real name: James Harris
Signature move: Air Africa
From: Senatobia, Mississippi
“King” Harley Race. Made opponents bow and kneel before him. Yawn. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Harley Leland Race
Signature move: Bridging cradle suplex
From: Quitman, Missouri
Sgt. Slaughter. His popularity in the early 80s rivaled Hogan’s, and his feud with the Iron Sheik was memorable, but he was gone from 1985-1990, critical years in the WWF. Still in the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Robert Remus
Signature move: Cobra clutch
From: Detroit, Michigan Big Bossman. The bad cop who beat opponents with his nightstick.
Real name: Raymond W. Traylor, Jr
Signature move: Bossman slam
From: Marietta, Georgia
Died: 2004
The Killers Bees. Good guys, yes, but hardly memorable other than their yellow and black-striped tights. B. Brian Blair.
Real name: Brian Leslie Blair
Signature move: Sleeper hold
From: Gary, Indiana “Jumpin” Jim Brunzell.
Real name: James Brunzell
Signature move: Dropkick
The Islanders. Once kidnapped the British Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda. Haku.
Real name: Tonga ‘Uli’uli Fifita
Signature move: Savate kick
From: Nukuʻalofa, Tonga Tama.
Real name: Sam Fatu
Signature move: Diving splash
From: California
Jesse “The Body” Ventura. In the ring in the early 80s, Ventura was the color commentator alongside Gorilla Monsoon for much of the rest of the decade. Used to always say, “Look out, Gorilla!” as a good move was happening in the ring. Love the boa, gov. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Jesse Ventura
Signature move: Body breaker
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Gorilla Monsoon. Often the play-by-play voice in the 80s. Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1994.
Real name: Robert James “Gino” Marella
Signature move: Airplane spin
From: New York, New York
Died: 1999
Brother Love. Red-faced manager that preached the word of ‘love’ while managing hated characters. Once came out in a kilt and argued with Roddy “Rowdy” Piper while Morton Downey Jr. was on stage.
Real name: Bruce Prichard
From: Pasadena, Texas
The Red Rooster. This guy was a joke from the start. I mean, he cockadodledooed before his matches.
Real name: Terry Taylor
Signature move: Sharpshooter
From: Atlanta, Georgia
Honkey Tonk Man. This Elvis impersonator started out as a good guy, but no one liked him, so bad he became.
Real name: Roy Wayne Farris
Signature move: Guitar shot
From: Memphis, Tennessee
“Adorable” Adrian Adonis. A bad guy most remembered for cross-dressing.
Real name: Keith Franke
Signature move: Sleeper hold
From: New York, New York
Died: 1988
The One Man Gang/Akeem the African Dream. Managed by Slick, always a bad guy. Fought alongside Big Bossman.
Real name: George Gray
Signature move: 747 splash
From: Spartanburg, South Carolina
Owen Hart. Hart made a brief appearance in the 80s WWF, but the Blue Blazer, with those awesome aerial moves, didn’t get popular til the 90s.
Real name: Owen James Hart
From: Calgary, Canada
Died: 1999
Hercules.
Real name: Raymond Fernandez
Signature move: Backbreaker
From: Tampa, Florida
Terry Funk. Managed by Jimmy Hart with tag team partner Jimmy Jack Funk.
Real name: Terrence Funk
Signature move: Piledriver
From: Hammond, Indiana Jimmy Jack Funk. Tag team partner of Terry Funk.
Real name: Ferrin Barr Jr.
Signature move: Bulldog
From: Oregon
Don Muraco. In the Hall of Fame.
Real name: Don Morrow
Signature move: Reverese piledriver
From: Sunset Beach, Hawaii
Slick. Bad, skinny pimp-like character, took over management of “Classy” Freddie Blassie’s characters.
Real name: Kenneth Johnson
From: Fort Worth, Texas
Others around in the 80s:
Powers of Pain (Barbarian and Warlord)
Demolition (Ax, Crush and Smash)
Bob Orton (In the Hall of Fame)
The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers
U.S. Express (Mike Rotunda and Barry Windham)
Dan Spivey
Butch Reed
Dino Bravo
David Samartino
Zeus
Jerry “The King” Lawler (In the Hall of Fame)
Danny Davis
Iron Mike Sharpe
Billy Jack Haynes
Wendi Richter
Sensational Sheri Martell (In the Hall of Fame)
The Fabulous Moolah (In the Hall of Fame)
The Brooklyn Brawler
Rick Martel
The Genius (Lenny Poffo)
Mr. Fuji (In the Hall of Fame)
Bad News Brown
Dusty Rhodes (In the Hall of Fame)
“Special Delivery” Jones
The little guys: Little Beaver, Little Tokyo, Lord Littlebrook, Haiti Kid
And let’s not forget, THE MAN, Eugene “Mean Gene” Okerlund (In the Hall of Fame)
Made some fun videos and attended the Russian Machine Never Breaks party last week. Check them out:
That’s me with Caps superfan Goat and a fanclub member who asked me to speak to the fanclub a few weeks ago..
That is me simultaneously drinking a beer, filming and checking my raffle ticket. I really wanted to win that Alan Mayden T-shirt. One of my readers gave me the graphic of that shirt a few months ago to post on my Caps site. That is Caps PA announcer Wes Johnson who announced the raffle.
Here are the videos I made last week.
Pauly D from Jersey Shore came into the Caps locker room. That is exactly the type of story I am there to cover, so I broke out the flipcam and filmed what I could. Eric Fehr was really interested in meeting him, as was John Carlson. Matt Bradley and his son also got their photo taken with him but mine came out blurry. Ugh.
I’ve been hospitalized twice in my life, both times for ‘behavioral health’ analysis. The first time was when I was only seven or eight years old. My family had moved and I wasn’t adjusting well to the new setting. I spent some time in Children’s Hospital in D.C. I was there with other kids, many with ‘issues’ far worse than mine. I did relatively well in that setting and was released, but continued therapy and medication on and off for the next couple of decades.
Nearly 24 years later, in early May 2008, a psychiatrist referred me to Laurel Regional Hospital for inpatient therapy. It was a Thursday evening. No time to plan for it. No stopping at home first. My parents drove me straight from the doctor’s office to the emergency room.
Like any emergency room, I had to wait. I found it interesting that the hospital still had a record of me from when I was a child – apparently the last time I was there. I called a friend to tell him where I was. Eventually, they put me on a bed behind a curtain. I don’t remember all the details except that it was getting late and I was worried about what I hadn’t taken care of. I was getting hungry so someone brought me a bag of white popcorn. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. I asked for something to help me sleep but they said they’d have to use a needle. I don’t like needles, but that’s all they had. I let them. They stabbed it in my thigh.
I woke about 18 hours later.
Everything was blurry. Someone kept telling me they were working to bring me ‘upstairs’ and that they should’ve skipped the ER and brought me straight ‘upstairs.’ Finally, they did bring me upstairs (perhaps in a wheel chair – I don’t remember. Others arrived in wheel chairs). It was in a locked wing of the hospital that said “Behavioral Health.” That I remember, despite being heavily drugged. I was wearing some sort of blue hospital patient clothing – pants and a shirt, and blue socks. I had to turn in my stuff, including my clothes, jacket and keys. My dad took my phone.
When I got inside, I’m pretty sure I scarfed down a meal that was originally meant for someone else who didn’t eat. The meals were served on a tray and brought up from the cafeteria. I think they weighed me and took my blood pressure and gave me some pills before sending me to my room. That would be a routine thing each evening.
I went to bed again, probably only a few hours after waking from my 18-hour nap. The first couple of days were a blur and I was told that I hardly spoke. Though I was drugged for most of the week, nothing compared to those first few days. I was a zombie.
The hospital was a bit like a prison in that we weren’t allowed out. The front door was locked and the back door to the stairs had alarms on it. There was a courtyard where we could go outside but it was enclosed by the brick walls of the building. When my dad came to visit, he brought my cell phone, which I wasn’t supposed to use. From there I secretly checked my e-mail and sent a few messages. I had my dad send the important messages, and had him cancel a party that I had scheduled two weeks later. A staff member – an Indian lady who I couldn’t stand – caught me trying to sneak a milkshake my dad had brought me back to my room. Apparently, I was allowed to eat outside food only during visiting hours in the designated visiting areas.
There were two psychiatrists who worked with the patients. One was a fat Russian man who annoyed me and the other was a young guy with big blue eyes that the women swooned over. I couldn’t stand the Russian guy but the other one I got along with well. They would always ask how I was feeling and if I was having suicidal thoughts. Some staff asked similar questions almost daily, when they weren’t busy checking on me during routine counts. I always answered truthfully as they scribbled notes. I’m not exactly clear on how they made their decisions as to which medication to use, but I think I was on about three or four for the main treatment, and perhaps others for various reasons. It wasn’t always clear as they gave it to me each night. I also learned that the doctors discussed many things about me but ended up ruling out conditions, such as Asperger’s Syndrome.
There wasn’t much to do in the hospital when activities weren’t scheduled. They had playing cards, puzzles, and a television. I think there was ‘quiet time’ when the TV had to be off. I didn’t watch it very often. I had George Pelecanos book – The Night Gardener – but I didn’t like sitting in bed reading all the time. I had to move my legs, so sometimes I’d get up and pace the hallway like an old man in a nursing home. Another day I know I took three showers in three hours because I was bored.
We had an art room in our wing with plenty to do, such as gimp string, which I hadn’t used since summer camp. We got to cut pictures out of magazines and glue them onto cardboard. I got to color in drink coasters, make paper flowers and other things normally reserved for 7-year olds. I even made a mosaic duck. Some of that stuff is still around and makes me remember where I was when I made it. There was also a radio in there and I remember hearing REO Speedwagon’s Take it in the Run, then downloading it from iTunes when I got home. Now, whenever I hear that song, I think of the art room. The art room didn’t end after the week as an inpatient – we also went there when I was an outpatient for the following several weeks.
I was given a drug that helped with my weight, because I had dropped about 15-20 pounds in the previous few months. The drug worked – too well, in fact. I was inhaling every meal and often tried to eat the leftovers from untouched trays. My dad and mom would come to visit and I’d insist they’d bring McDonalds – after I already ate dinner. At night I would wake up, desperately craving something to eat. Then I’d go to the kitchen, looking for anything. I found myself slurping up mini peanut butter cups in the drawers with other condiments. I was rapidly gaining weight, and the binging continued after I left the hospital. A month or two later, I peaked at about 180, 45 pounds heavier than I had been in April and 30 pounds over my average weight of 150. Since I got off of certain medications, I’ve dropped to about 160.
One night – I don’t remember which – I felt a side effect of one of the meds. I went to bed and my legs started moving, like tentacles. I couldn’t control them as they shifted around. I got up, went to the front desk and they gave me something to sleep. Haven’t experienced anything like that before or since.
A couple of weeks later, I started a new medication, then went to my roller hockey game and realized my vision was blurred (being on the rink made it more apparent). I stopped that medication after only one day.
I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep without some form of medication since all of this happened. Sometimes the sleep aid was prescribed, other times it was just Target brand. I remember once I thought I had taken the medication – along with another – but the pill slipped out before I swallowed. I didn’t sleep that night and couldn’t figure out why, until I found the pill had gotten stuck in the crease of the cup. I’m not sure what they were giving me at the hospital but I do know I got plenty of sleep.
In September of 2008, I took a medication with terrible side effects. It made me feel lethargic. I told this to my psychiatrist and he gave me something else to offset the side effects. But then it got way worse, yet I kept taking it. It put me in a trance. I felt it at work, while out with people, at a kickball game, while playing poker, at the Renaissance Festival, while driving to Pittsburgh, and during the High Holidays. I couldn’t do anything but sit and stare, or lay down. I left work early several times and got in trouble.
Now I’m on the same medication that I had been taking before I was hospitalized. The doctor said I didn’t get an accurate test of that medication before because of the events in my life at the time, so he tried it again. I’ve been on it for more than a year now, and I think it may be working but really don’t know for sure.
In the hospital, we weren’t allowed to have razors for obvious reasons, though we could arrange time with the staff to shave. I didn’t bother and instead grew a beard for the first time in my life. When I got out of the hospital I shaved but left the goatee and have had it since. I don’t think I would’ve done that if it weren’t for the hospital.
Most people stayed in the behavioral health unit for seven days. When I first arrived, I had convinced myself that I would be out of there in no time, certainly before my birthday on May 7. That didn’t happen. I celebrated my 32nd birthday with the other patients, and a cake that the staff had brought up from the cafeteria.
Even though most of us were only there for a week, there was a big difference between the newcomers and those who had been there for a few days. The newcomers were drugged up more, slept more, and weren’t as involved. We had chores to sign up for, goals for the day to state, discussions, and scheduled activities. I didn’t even know about the daily schedule on the board until 3 or 4 days in. That’s when I read it and learned I was actually supposed to attend meetings during the day instead of lying in bed (although several of the newcomers missed the meetings the first few days as they slept and adjusted to their medication).
Several of the patients stood out to me. There was a married woman – with kids named after U.S. states – who kept complaining about her husband (a few weeks she told me he left her). There was a homeless guy who was about my age (who somehow had the means to stay at the hospital). There was a man in his 40s or 50s who was there voluntarily due to alcoholism. There was a redneck woman who talked way too much and whose boyfriend came to visit. There were several middle-aged, heavyset women unhappy with their lives. There was another woman who was married with kids who was suicidal. But she didn’t act weird or anything was very calm while in the hospital. And there was a young black woman with a large tattoo on her throat who had a newborn.
I had a roommate for the first few days. Someone 10-15 years older than me. I wasn’t entirely sure what his issues were but I think at some point I heard him state one of his goals as “to tell the staff when I hear voices.” Other than that he seemed pretty normal and forgettable. I was happy when he left because I had the room to myself. I think I was the only white male there after he left.
There was a young black kid who behaved horribly. I remember him refusing to take pills because he claimed his mother had committed suicide using pills. So he insisted on needles. Then someone had told me that they saw the staff secure him as he violently resisted while trying to give him medication. I also remember that he was exercising so much one day that he threw up in the hallway near my room. At one point I yelled at him when he was interrupting a meeting by making scenes and doing push-ups. I think I almost got in a fight with him but he was kicked out of the room. The next day I learned he had been transferred to another hospital.
The worst case I saw was a young black woman who arrived in a wheelchair. She never ate. She insisted she was only there for ‘a physical.’ She would sit on the sofa by the television, without even watching it. After a couple of days without eating, I’m told that they had to take her away, eject her with potassium (painful) and move her to another hospital.
One of my counselors taught me about DABDA, which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It perfectly explained how I had handled my situation. Unfortunately, I was stuck in the ‘depression’ phase for far too long.
One day, a woman came into my room to talk to me about Alcoholics Anonymous. Apparently, I had answered a question to a staff member that I had abused alcohol. In reality, there may have been a couple of times in the previous months when I had several beers. But it certainly wasn’t a habit or craving and never put myself in danger. The woman said great things about AA, and that I could meet lots of good people there. I shrugged that off. Then she kept telling me I had a problem. I disagreed and began to get upset. “You abuse alcohol!” she yelled. I wasn’t convinced and did not attend any AA meetings. The patients there for alcohol or drug-related issues typically left for a 30-day AA program somewhere else. That wasn’t me.
Nearly a week after entering the behavioral health wing of Laurel Regional Hospital, I got to leave. But I was far from finished there. Outpatient therapy was more group-oriented. We sat around together, talked, met with the doctors, went to the art room, and took long lunch breaks. I knew a couple of them from the other wing. It was mostly fat women who had relationship or alcohol problems.
As it turns out, nothing was resolved during this experience. Only a few short months later the same psychiatrist who referred me there insisted I go back and wanted me to get ECT treatments – shock therapy. Fortunately, I was turned over to my mother’s care and she took me home instead. I left that psychiatrist and went back to the one who I met as an inpatient. That guy isn’t perfect either but he doesn’t threaten me with hospitalization or ECT.
In 2008, I spent nearly three months off work on Short Term Disability, thousands of dollars out-of-pocket, all to go through a system that was only effective in helping me gain weight and sleep. Perhaps the ECT would’ve worked – I don’t know. That would be another huge sacrifice, there would be troubling side effects, and the results weren’t guaranteed. Not being able to handle the trials and tribulations of life isn’t a cancer that can just be cut out of us. But what recourse do we have other than to take the advice of professionals?
The resolution to my issues ultimately took time, patience, certain actions on my part, and luck.
All is well with my nephew, Ryan Sumner. Born to Amy and my brother Dan down in Charleston, South Carolina.
That’s me with Caps superfan Goat and a fanclub member who asked me to speak to the fanclub a few weeks ago..
That is me simultaneously drinking a beer, filming and checking my raffle ticket. I really wanted to win that Alan Mayden T-shirt. One of my readers gave me the graphic of that shirt a few months ago to post on my Caps site. That is Caps PA announcer Wes Johnson who announced the raffle.