Category: Blogging

Since everyone else in the world has one I might as well get one myself. Check it out and enjoy.

This is one of those questions that guys can discuss until the end of time. When I bring it up amongst friends, the discussion gets heated. So, for this list, there will be some ground rules:

• The athlete from a team sport must have superior statistics to others. This means that merely winning championships without the jaw-dropping stats, like Bill Russell, isn’t enough for this particular ‘most dominant athlete ever’ list. As for Russell, he’s probably the most dominating team player ever, but that’s a different list.
• The athlete must be dominant throughout a significant portion of a respectable career. Dominating for a few years and then falling into relative mediocrity tarnishes a legacy.
• It will be impossible to name every dominant athlete in every sport, so we’ll stick with 30 total, from these sports: Auto racing, baseball, basketball, boxing, cycling, football, golf, Greco-Roman wrestling (you’ll see why later), hockey, horse racing, soccer, surfing, swimming, tennis and track.
• For team sports, the athlete should be dominant in more than one major statistic or aspect of the game. So, the best rebounder or shot-blocker ever won’t necessarily be considered on those stats alone.
• Men only for this list. We’ll handle women when the Gunaxin audience becomes interested in female sports, or when women start routinely beating men at these sports.
• If someone you think is missing from this list, chances are, they may certainly be a dominant athlete that we missed, and we urge you to write them in the comments section. But also ask yourself, even had we listed them for the vote, do you think they would win it?

VOTE FOR THE MOST DOMINANT ATHLETE AT THE BOTTOM

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AUTO RACING

Richard Petty
Case for: His 200 career NASCAR wins are 95 more than the next guy, he won seven championships, and he’s still considered the best of all time in that sport.
Case against: None.

Michael Schumacher
Case for: His 91 career Formula 1 wins are 40 more than the next guy, and he has won seven championships.
Case against: Schumacher’s success often drew controversy, particularly in title-deciding collisions in 1994 and 1997.

Jimmy Johnson just won his fourth consecutive championship, but his career is far from over and he’s got a long way to go to be considered more dominant than Petty, or even Dale Earnhardt in NASCAR.

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BASEBALL

Ty Cobb
Case for: A .367 lifetime batting average, far and away the best in baseball history.
Case against: Played in an era where players didn’t hit for power. Also, he was a downright awful person and he’d get booed out of the stadium if he played today.

Babe Ruth
Case for: He was a great pitcher when he pitched, a great hitter when he hit, and sometimes hit more home runs than entire teams. He had a .342 lifetime average.
Case against: Not much, although some argue that he didn’t have to compete against the Negro League players who could have given him more competition.

Not: Barry Bonds and I shouldn’t even have to explain why.

Baseball is one of those sports that anyone you ask will tell you someone different is the most dominant. Others we considered were Willie Mays, Ted Williams and Bob Gibson. Sandy Koufax dominated for just a few years but not long enough.

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BASKETBALL

Michael Jordan
Case for: 2 Olympic gold medals, 6-time NBA champion, 6-time NBA Finals MVP, 5-time NBA MVP, 10 NBA scoring titles, holds the NBA records for highest career regular-season scoring average (30.12 points per game) and highest career playoff scoring average (33.4 points per game).
Case against: His stint with the Wizards was a disaster and probably still irks him since he is not one to lose a grudge. Taking off about two seasons to play baseball may have cost him two more championships. Also, other players have offensive records that Jordan didn’t come close to breaking.

Wilt Chamberlain
Case for: 2-time NBA champion, 4-time NBA MVP, once averaged 50.4 points a game in a season, once scored 100 points in a game, holds 72 official NBA records, and never fouled out of a game.
Case against: Didn’t win enough championships, though we’ve already stated that that’s not the barometer for being the most ‘dominating athlete.’

Not: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Bill Russell, Magic Johnson because we’re confident that Jordan and Chamberlain are ultimately more dominating.

The general consensus in basketball is that Michael Jordan is the best of all time (though Celtics fans will say Bill Russell simply because he has more championships than anyone).

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BOXING

Muhammad Ali
Case for: He’s often considered one of the greatest of all time.
Case against: He did not live up to his potential because he left the sport in his prime. Also, he lost five times, didn’t exactly go out ‘on top,’ but excluding him from this list would cause a web riot.

Joe Louis
Case for: Championship reign lasted 140 consecutive months. Named the greatest heavyweight of all time by the International Boxing Research Organization, and was ranked number one on Ring Magazine’s list of 100 Greatest Punchers of All Time.
Case against: Ummm… never fought Mike Tyson in his prime?

Sugar Ray Robinson
Case for: Frequently cited as the greatest boxer of all time, Robinson’s performances at the welterweight and middleweight divisions prompted sportswriters to create “pound for pound” rankings, where they compared fighters regardless of weight.
Case against: Lost 19 times.

Not: Mike Tyson, who, like others, dominated the sport for a period of time, then lost, continued to lose, and tarnished a legacy. Not: Rocky Marciano because few believe he fought anyone that tough.

Boxing sparks quite a bit of debate because there are many dominant ones from different eras.

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CYCLING

Lance Armstrong
Case for: After surviving cancer, he won the Tour de France seven straight times. At the age of 38 he came back and finished third.
Case against: Accused of doping. Also, many forget that cycling is a team sport, and Armstrong’s team deserves credit for guiding him to victory, as well.

It’s not uncommon to hear someone say Armstrong is the most dominant athlete of all time.

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FOOTBALL

Jim Brown
Case for: In 2002, he was named by The Sporting News as the greatest professional football player ever. In 118 career games, Brown averaged 104.3 yards per game and 5.2 yards per carry. Only Barry Sanders comes close to those totals.
Case against: None.

Joe Montana
Case for: He won four Super Bowls and helped his teams to 31 fourth quarter come-from-behind wins.
Case against: Other quarterbacks either broke Montana’s records or hold records that Montana never did, and even won the same number of championships. ‘Who’s the best quarterback ever?’ is an article on its own, but we’ll stick with Montana as the representative for this position.

Jerry Rice
Case for: The all-time leader in every major statistical category for wide receivers and the all-time leader in touchdowns scored with 208.
Case against: Certainly benefited by having great quarterbacks.

Lawrence Taylor
Case for: He has been called the greatest defensive player of all time by members of the media, former players, and coaches.
Case against: Not much, though, like other athletes, his off-field issues make some people forget about his on-field success.

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GOLF

Tiger Woods
Case for: Was already considered the best golfer ever very early in his career, and it is far from over.
Case against: Though he is on course to obliterate them, he does not yet hold the records for majors or wins, so it’s hard to say he’s the most dominant ever if he hasn’t yet surpassed these milestones.

Jack Nicklaus
Case for: He currently holds the record with 18 major victories.
Case against: He’s not Tiger Woods.

Not: Arnold Palmer. He may have ‘transcended’ the game and made the sport incredibly popular, but his records pail in comparison to others.

Tiger Woods should be a finalist for the most dominant of all time.

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GRECO-ROMAN WRESTLING

Alexander Karelin
Case for: He was undefeated for 13 years. He won gold medals at the 1988, 1992 and 1996 Olympic Games. He went the last six years of his unbeaten streak without giving up a point.
Case against: Relatively speaking, Greco-Roman wrestling is too small of a sport compared to the others.

While Greco-Roman wrestling isn’t necessarily a sport that many argue about, Karelin’s 13-year winning streak is perhaps the most dominating accomplishment on this list. Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Babe Ruth, or anyone else accomplished anything like that.

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HOCKEY

Wayne Gretzky
Case for: He is so far ahead on the all-time points list, that had he never scored a goal, his assist total would still make him the all-time points leader.
Case against: He wasn’t a two-way player.

Bobby Orr
Case for: Led the league in scoring, as a defenseman. Once had a plus/minus of +124 (to put that in perspective, +37 led the league last season).
Case against: His career wasn’t long enough.

Not: Gordie Howe and Mario Lemieux, because we’re confident that Gretzky and Orr were ultimately more dominant.

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HORSE RACING

Secretariat
Case for: In 1973 became the first U.S. Triple Crown champion in 25 years, setting new race records in the Kentucky Derby and the Belmont Stakes.
Case against: He’s a horse.

You all know that you’re going to vote for Secretariat as a goof, so go ahead and cast your ballot now.

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SOCCER

Diego Maradona
Case for: Widely considered to be the second best soccer player of all time.
Case against: Only people from Argentina think that he is better than Pele. Also, a suspension for drugs kept him off the field for some time.

Pele
Case for: Won World Cups, flashy player, scored, transcended the game.
Case against: None.

Pele should be a finalist for the most dominating athlete ever.

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SURFING

Kelly Slater
Case for: 9-time ASP World Champion. 54 victories. 42 World championship tour wins.
Case against: Hard to compare surfing to these other sports.

We also considered Laird Hamilton, Taj Burrow, and the ‘inventor,’ Duke Paoa Kahanamoku.

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SWIMMING

Michael Phelps
Case for: He won eight gold medals at the 2008 Olympic Games.
Case against: Some of those world records may have been set with the aid of better swimsuit technology that Mark Spitz and Johnny Weissmuller didn’t have.

Mark Spitz
Case for: Amongst other things, he won seven gold medals at the 1972 Olympic Games.
Case against: Lost his records to Phelps.

Phelps will likely be a finalist for the most dominant athlete ever.

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TENNIS

Roger Federer
Case for: Already the all-time leader in men’s singles Grand Slam victories, Federer doesn’t look like he’s slowing down.
Case against: For a period of time, Rafael Nadal overtook Federer as the best player in the world, defeating him in the French Open and Wimbledon finals. It’s hard to say Federer is the best ever when he wasn’t even number one in his sport while in his prime.

Rod Laver
Case for: He was the world No. 1 player for seven consecutive years, and is the only player to have twice won all four Grand Slam singles titles in the same year. He would have had even more titles had the rules for majors been different back then.
Case against: He didn’t have to play Roger Federer.

Not: Pete Sampras because he didn’t come close to winning the French Open, the one gaping hole on his resume.

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TRACK

Usain Bolt
Case for: He holds the world record for the 100 metres, the 200 metres and, along with his teammates, the 4×100 metres relay. And he is still young so has more career ahead of him.
Case against: Does one extraordinary year make one the ‘most dominant athlete of all time?’

Carl Lewis
Case for: He won 10 Olympic medals (9 gold), and 10 World Championships medal (8), in a career that spanned from 1979 to 1996.
Case against: A controversy with the long jump in the ’84 Olympics. Also, he wasn’t as dominant as long as Edwin Moses (below).

Edwin Moses
Case for: Between 1977 and 1987, Moses won 107 consecutive finals. Also, he helped set some of the most strict anti-drug policies for track and field.
Case against: None.

We also considered Jesse Owens, but he wasn’t as dominant as long as the above. We also give a shout out to Jim Thorpe, who is perhaps the most versatile athlete of all time.

Edwin Moses should be a finalist for most dominant athlete of all time.

It’s not uncommon for successful writers to stick to story formulas and return to recurring themes, and no one does it better than Larry David on Seinfeld and HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. Sometimes he goes off the deep end, coming up with a scenario so extreme that it could only happen to him, but other times he plays it safe and gives us a situation that we all (often) encounter. Either case is called the ‘Larry David Moment.’

Each episode revolves around Larry making inappropriate comments and/or getting angry over certain policies or when others fail to adhere to his standards of behavior. The episodes also center around the snowball effect of a lie, from its root usually as an excuse not to do a favor, to its climatic and hilarious ending when the truth is revealed. If he doesn’t lie, goes along with the favor, accepts an invitation, or attempts a good deed (like feeding a limo driver or helping the blind), it can only come back to haunt him in hilarious ways. Every episode follows these formulas.

Here are some of the most commonly-used themes and gags in Curb, and also Seinfeld, with examples.

Articles of Clothing

• Obsessing over a dead man’s shirt
• Mixing up smoking jackets with Hef
• Losing sneakers at bowling alley
• Needing to find the same jacket he used in a movie role
• Unwanted sleeve loosening
• Missing dry cleaning

Bathrooms

• No lock on the bathroom door
• Being interrupted with stop-and-chat on the way to the bathroom
• Knocking on strangers’ doors, asking to go
• Overhearing a racist in the men’s room
• Using the handicapped stall
• Men using the women’s bathroom

Doctor’s Offices

• Bad magazine selection
• Using the doctor’s phone while waiting to be examined
• Not disclosing the ailment to an assistant
• Protesting the non-confidential sign-in sheet
• First-come, first-serve policy
• Speeding heart rate due to attractive nurse
• Getting doctor’s personal phone number

Private Parts

• Pants that make him look like he is pitching a tent
• Getting bitten by a dog… there
• No-fly zone drawers
• The ‘tickle’
• A long hug is a bit too… long
• Water bottle in the pocket

Recurring Awkward Moments Involving…

• Jeff’s parents
• Funkhouser’s relatives, dead or alive
• Handicapped people
• Black people
• All women
• Orthodox Jews
• Christians/Catholics
• Everyone else

Religion

• Interrupting a Baptism
• Inviting a sex offender to Passover
• Buying scalped high holiday tickets
• Accidentally making Jesus shed a tear
• The Passion of the Christ nail
• The Jesus cookie and manger scene

Tipping

• Waiter’s tip AND captain’s tip
• 18% tip included PLUS space for extra
• Coordinating tips with dining companions
• Believing he tipped someone more than once and confronting that person
• Accidentally gives money to a restaurant guy who he normally tips at the restaurant, not on the street

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Possible Curb Episodes Based on My Father

• My father tells people that he had the choice between his best friend and Larry David as college roommates, and picked his best friend (both my father and David attended University of Maryland around the same time).
• My father and his cousin got caught in the rain on the way back from a baseball game, had to remove their shirts, shoes and socks, and were greeted at the front door by his cousin’s wife (imagine that with Jeff, Larry and Susie).
• On an elevator with a man who was pushing a woman in a wheelchair, my father makes small talk by saying “Is this your mother?” The man replies “No, it’s my wife.”

Situation comedy theme songs aren’t what they used to be. Today, the networks would rather skip the opening montage of characters doing goofy things in order to save time for more commercials. However, since I Love Lucy, there have been many great themes, and they’re ingrained in our heads. But not all of them, even for the best shows, make us want to burst into song. Here are Gunaxin’s picks for the best live-action, original themes for situation comedies that are the most fun to sing (sorry, Friends and Family Guy).

They’re creepy and they’re kooky,

Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky,
The Addams Family.

Their house is a museum.
When people come to see ’em
They really are a screa-um.
The Addams Family.

Neat
Sweet
Petite

So get a witch’s shawl on.
A broomstick you can crawl on.
We’re gonna pay a call on
The Addams Family.

Well we’re movin on up,

To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.

Fish don’t fry in the kitchen;
Beans don’t burn on the grill.
Took a whole lotta tryin’,
Just to get up that hill.
Now we’re up in the big leagues,
Gettin’ our turn at bat.
As long as we live, it’s you and me baby,
There ain’t nothin wrong with that.

Well we’re movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.
We finally got a piece of the pie.

Good Times.

Any time you meet a payment. – Good Times.
Any time you need a friend. – Good Times.
Any time you’re out from under.
Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.
Keepin’ your head above water,
Making a wave when you can.

Temporary lay offs. – Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs. – Good Times.
Scratchin’ and surviving. – Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line – Good Times.
Ain’t we lucky we got ‘em – Good Times.

CLOSING THEME LYRICS

Mmmmmm
Just lookin’ out of the window.
Watchin’ the asphalt grow.
Thinkin’ how it all looks hand-me-down.
Good Times, yeah, yeah Good Times

Keepin’ your head above water
Makin’ a wave when you can

Temporary lay offs. – Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs. – Good Times.
Ain’t we lucky we got ’em – Good Times.

Come and knock on our door (Come and knock on our door)

We’ve been waiting for you (We’ve been waiting for you)
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,
Three’s company too.

Come and dance on on our floor (Come and dance on on our floor)
Take a step that is new (Take a step that is new)
We’ve a loveable space that needs your face,
Three’s company too.

You’ll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you,
Down at our rendez-vous,
Three’s company, too!

Here’s the story of a lovely lady

Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,
The youngest one in curls.

Here’s the store, of a man named Brady,
Who was busy with three boys of his own,
They were four men, living all together,
Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a family.
That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch,

That’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch.
The Brady Bunch.

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played.

Songs that made the hit parade.
Guys like us we had it made.
Those were the days.

Didn’t need no welfare state.
Everybody pulled his weight.
Gee, our old LaSalle ran great.
Those were the days.

And you knew who you WERE THEN.
Girls were girls and men were men.
Mister we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.
People seemed to be content.
Fifty dollars paid the rent.
Freaks were in a circus tent.
Those were the days.

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed

A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin’ crude.

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

Well the first thing you know ol’ Jed’s a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Jed move away from there
Said Californy is the place you ought to be
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.

Hills, that is.
Swimmin pools, movie stars.

The Beverly Hillbillies!

Sung at the end of the show:

Well now its time to say good-bye to Jed and all his kin.
And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.
You’re all invited back again to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of their hospitality

Hillbilly that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off. Y’all come back now, y’hear?

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days.
Thursday, Friday, Happy Days.
The weekend comes,
My cycle hums,
Ready to race to you.

These days are all,
Happy and Free. (Those Happy Days)
These days are all,
Share them with me. (oh baby)
Goodbye grey sky, hello blue.
There’s nothing can hold me when I hold you.
Feels so right, it can’t be wrong.
Rockin’ and rollin’ all week long.

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days.
Thursday, Friday, Happy Days.
Saturday, What a day,
Groovin’ all week with you.

These days are all,
Share them with me. (Those Happy Days)
These days are all,
Happy and Free. (oh baby)
These Happy Days are your’s and mine.
These Happy Days are your’s and mine, Happy Days.

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there’re prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don’t think sow
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought ‘Now forget it’ – ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes smell ya later’
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.

The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.

The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan
The Skipper too,
The millionaire and his wife,
The movie star
The professor and Mary Ann,
Here on Gilligans Isle.

So this is the tale of the castaways,
They’re here for a long, long time,
They’ll have to make the best of things,
It’s an uphill climb.

The first mate and the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
In the tropic island nest.

No phone, no lights no motor cars,
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson Crusoe,
As primitive as can be.

So join us here each week my friends,
You’re sure to get a smile,
From seven stranded castaways,
Here on “Gilligan’s Isle.”

Gunaxin’s Honorable Mentions:
The Andy Griffith Show
Cheers
Different Strokes
Facts of Life
Gimme a Break
Green Acres
Laverne & Shirley
Mary Tyler Moore (Love Is All Around)
Maude
Mr. Ed
The Nanny
One Day at a Time
Saved by the Bell
Scrubs
WKRP in Cincinnati

A good film is a good film. It shouldn’t matter what it’s about, and it shouldn’t matter who it’s about, so long as it’s well-written, well-directed, well-acted and has a jammin’ soundtrack. Non-Greek audiences ate up My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and it didn’t matter that they didn’t grow up in that environment. So, when looking at lists of the best black films, John Singleton’s 1991 drama Boyz N the Hood is one that I’ve noticed white people praise as well. To put that in perspective, Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing is also on many ‘best black movie’ lists, but white people just don’t get it even if they say they do. Let me repeat: White people DO NOT GET Do the Right Thing.

So, though many people, particularly white ones, can’t personally relate to the setting in Boys N The Hood, here are some reasons why it’s well liked by them anyway, aside from it just being a well-made film (which of course is the prime reason).

 

Anyone who takes screenwriting classes and aspires to be a writer/director is envious of Singleton, who was only 23 years old when he was nominated for Best Director and Best Screenwriting for this film at the Oscars. Wide-eyed college students with screenplays dream of the day that their film gets made and it takes many years for the few who even make it. Singleton did it when he was barely out of college. Those with film-making aspirations should watch the director’s commentary.

There are two scenes in this film that pay homage to the 1986 film Stand By Me. The first is when they are walking on the railroad tracks and then go to see a dead body. The second is when Doughboy is walking away at the end and disappears into thin air, ala River Phoenix. Singleton mentions this in the director’s commentary.

Considering the tension there was between police and residents in L.A. in the early 90s (which finally climaxed after the Rodney King beating verdict), Singleton could have easily cast a white man in this role. Instead this showed that stereotyping isn’t a white-on-black thing, but a black-on-black thing as well.

This young actor’s talent was apparent in this film and he went on to be an Oscar-winning star. Now, he’s that squeaky-clean actor that everyone likes.

Unlike Mookie in Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing, Tre actually does the right thing. And say what you want about the film’s ultimate message about ‘the man,’ no one is asking for handouts in this film. Furious preaches hard work and responsibility. Does Mookie do that? No. So F-you, Spike.