When I was a kid at summer camp, maybe when I was 11 or so, I was at a pool with not just my camp but other camps as well. It started to rain so a bunch of us stood in the area right outside the bathroom as we waited.
Some kids from another camp started picking on me. They were making fun of my shoes and whatever else. The counselors weren’t around. I was outnumbered and had nowhere to go, so they continued. I was cornered.
Then one of their friends joined in – a short kid, probably Chinese – and was having a field day making fun of me with his friends there to back him up.
There’s only one thing kids instinctively know how to do in these situations. Fight. These bullies were goading me into one. This wasn’t the first time for me, nor the last.
But I couldn’t just start attacking the smallest kid in this group – they’d all come to his defense. I knew he had to come after me first. So I did what I had to do. I had to tick him off and get him to attack me. Calling him a ‘meanie’ wouldn’t suffice.
So I called him a racist name (at least, I think I did – my 11 year old mind didn’t know all the bad words). I had to. It wasn’t because I was racist. It was because I had to enrage him and make him throw the first punch. That way, when I beat the hell out of him, it was in self defense – which is the ‘better’ way of fighting. And that’s exactly what happened.
After I clobbered this kid, the fight was broken up and everyone was separated. I got out of the situation with a bit of dignity.
Anyway, back to the point I was trying to make.
I warn people not to judge others too harshly on the words they use in certain scenarios. Generic names, like ‘idiot’ or ‘jerk,’ – or even generic cuss words – don’t come close to expressing boiling anger or provoking a response in a one-on-one confrontation. I’m not saying that using racist, sexist or homophobic words is right or good, but discrediting the person who uses it, not considering the context, or taking it personally when those words aren’t even directed at you, is, ahem, moronic.
Are the words overused? Of course. Do all opinions or actions demand it? Of course not. I just find it ridiculous that, in a heated confrontation between two people, observers will take a side or claim a line is crossed when those words aren’t meant for them or they deem those words undeserving in the context of what’s said. Who made them referees? Imagine if, after I called that kid a bad name, the camper bullies all told on me and got me in trouble for the word I used. After all, making fun of someone’s shoes isn’t the same thing as racism.
Let’s also be clear – people troll for these sort of responses. When they’re called names that aren’t approved by the P.C. police, they declare themselves intellectually superior to their opponents. They do this most often by loudly expressing illogical, irrational opinions, then sit back and wait for the name-calling. When someone crosses a ‘line,’ they and their defenders go on a counter-attack, which has nothing to do with the initial point. (Of course, this can also happen when the initial point is completely reasonable.)
People make a living at this now. In the name of page views, major publications give writers the freedom to express controversial opinions while committing every fallacy in the book (or even hire writers who aren’t qualified to comment). Then come the comments – often anonymous – where folks respond harshly, if not more unreasonably than the initial point. Once the ‘off-limit’ words start streaming in, the writer feels vindicated, as the critics are undoubtedly racist, sexist, homophobic, and therefore wrong, which somehow, in their minds, makes their initial point correct.
On the way back to the bus, the kids got revenge on my by throwing trash at me and running away. There was nothing I could do, but somehow I doubt that kid continued picking on others just cause he had all his friends around. Who knows? Years later, at yet another summer camp, another guy – also shorter than me – continuously picked on me. He threatened to throw a water balloon at me, I said I’d beat him up if he did. He did, and I punched him in the face. It was the same thing, really.
Looking back, being able to analyze my choice of words and actions in the context of right and wrong, and how things play out in this day and age, I can’t say I have any regrets.